So, in the afternoon today, after I picked Vivian up from school, we stopped briefly at a daycare centre to see one of my friend’s baby
So, in the afternoon today, after I picked Vivian up from school, we stopped briefly at a daycare centre to see one of my friend’s baby.
The moment we entered, Vivian stopped walking.
She stood there quietly looking at all the babies crawling on the floor, some sleeping peacefully while others were busy crying for no reason.
She slowly turned to me.
« Mummy… »
« So these are the newest human beings? »
I laughed.
« Yes. »
She nodded.
« They’ve not even mastered life yet. »
I smiled.
« What do you mean? »
She whispered,
« They still have a long way to go. »
I was already trying not to laugh.
Just then, one little baby started crying loudly.
Vivian looked at the baby with pity.
Then she sighed.
« My dear… »
« Relax. »
« This world will still show you more pepper. »
I almost burst into laughter.
One of the caregivers heard her and laughed too.
Another baby was busy chewing one colourful toy.
Vivian walked closer.
She bent down and said,
« My friend… »
« That thing is not food. »
« You’ve just entered this world… »
« Don’t start making mistakes. »
The caregiver laughed so hard she had to carry the baby away.
A few minutes later, one tiny baby stretched both hands towards Vivian.
Vivian stretched out one finger.
The baby grabbed it immediately.
Vivian smiled proudly.
« Mummy… »
« He wants mentorship. »
I laughed.
« What mentorship? »
She nodded confidently.
« He has seen somebody that has experience. »
At that point, I couldn’t even pretend to be serious anymore.
Then one caregiver said,
« This baby is just four months old. »
Vivian’s eyes became wide.
She looked at the baby.
« Only four months? »
The baby smiled.
Vivian smiled back.
« My dear… »
« I’ve been here for years, even in the past life. »
« If you need any guidance… »
« I’m available. »
Everybody in the room started laughing.
She wasn’t done.
She looked around at all the babies.
Then she clapped her hands softly.
« My fellow newcomers… »
Everybody turned to look at her.
She continued,
« Please listen carefully. »
« When your mummy gives you vegetables… »
« Don’t waste your energy crying. »
« You’ll still eat it. »
The caregivers were already laughing uncontrollably.
« And when they say… »
‘It’s bedtime.’
« Just cooperate. »
« If you refuse… »
« They’ll still carry you like a thief. »
I laughed until tears entered my eyes.
Then she walked to another baby who was trying to crawl.
She watched the baby for a few seconds.
Then said,
« Small small. »
« Don’t rush. »
« I also started like that. »
I laughed.
« So you remember? »
Vivian looked at me.
« Of course. »
« I was once a beginner. »
One little baby suddenly sneezed.
Vivian quickly nodded.
« Good. »
« Your engine is working. »
Even the caregivers couldn’t control themselves anymore.
Then one of them jokingly asked,
« Vivian… »
« If all these babies were your students… »
« What would you teach them first? »
Vivian didn’t even think.
« How to recognize biscuit. »
I laughed.
« What? »
She replied,
« So that when visitors come… »
« They won’t be smiling at toys instead. »
I just bent over laughing.
As we were about to leave, Vivian stood in front of all the babies.
She waved at them like a headmistress.
« Don’t worry… »
« You’ll all grow up one day. »
« One day you’ll wear school uniform like me. »
« One day you’ll know multiplication. »
She paused.
Then quickly added,
« But don’t be in a hurry. »
« Homework is not your friend. »
The caregivers clapped and laughed.
As we entered the car, I asked,
« So Vivian… »
« What have you learnt from today’s visit? »
She leaned back proudly.
« I’ve realized something. »
« What? »
She smiled.
« I’ve suffered. »
I looked at her.
« How? »
She replied,
« I’ve graduated from crawling… »
« Graduated from crying… »
« Graduated from drinking milk… »
« I’m now in the advanced level. »
I just laughed.
« So what advice do you have for the babies? »
Vivian looked out of the window and said,
« Enjoy your baby life. »
« Because once you reach my level… »
« People will start asking you to sweep, bath, do homework and greet visitors. »
She folded her arms.
« Growing up is a scam. »
I laughed.
« Why are you saying that? »
Vivian sighed deeply.
« When I was their age… »
« People carried me. »
« Now they send me. »
We both burst into laughter.
Then she looked back through the car window at the babies and shouted,
« Enjoy your free transportation while it lasts! »
« One day they’ll tell you… »
« ‘Your legs are not decoration. Walk!’ »
Honestly…
We only stopped at the daycare for a few minutes.
But before we left, Vivian had already promoted herself to Senior Adviser of Babies, started mentoring four-month-old children…
And left them with one final warning: « Don’t be in a hurry to grow up. Homework is waiting for all of you. »
If Vivian’s advice to those babies made you laugh, follow this page because her next adventure will be even funnier.
