My Husband Teased Me at a Pool Party, Saying I Wasn’t as Attractive as His Brother’s New Wife – So I Put Him in His Place, and He’ll Never Forget It

I pumped in the parking lot before meetings, warmed up leftovers with one hand while bouncing Onica in the other, and answered Bradley’s 50 questions about dinosaurs before I’d even taken off my shoes.

Carl, meanwhile, developed a very consistent routine. That routine was the couch.

***

“Did you send out any applications today?” I asked one evening, stepping over a pile of laundry.

“I’m networking,” my husband said without looking up from his phone.

I pumped in the parking lot.

“With whom?”

“People. It’s not something you’d understand, Nina.”

I let it go as I always did.

***

The Alice comments started small, then multiplied like rabbits. At breakfast, over coffee, in the middle of me changing a diaper.

“You should see Alice’s dance class videos,” Carl said one morning. “She dances beautifully, has an athletic body, and wears short skirts! And you?”

“It’s not something you’d understand.”

“That’s great for her,” I muttered, wiping applesauce off Bradley’s chin.

“You used to have that kind of energy.”

I stopped wiping. My son stared at me with big eyes, applesauce still on his eyebrow.

“Carl, I had a baby recently.”

“I’m just saying. Alice still finds time for her dance classes.”

I stopped wiping.

“Alice is 28 and doesn’t have a newborn strapped to her chest.”

My husband shrugged as if I’d made his point for him.

***

That night, I tried one more time to have an actual conversation.

“I need help around the house,” I said. “You’re home all day. I’m not asking for miracles. I’m asking for dishes.”

“I’m dealing with a lot right now.”

“So am I.”

I tried one more time.

“It’s different, Nina.”

“How?”

Carl didn’t answer. He just picked up his phone, and I noticed, again, how he tilted the screen away from me before tapping it.

I told myself I was imagining it.

***

The little things started stacking up like a bad Jenga tower.

Carl showered before Steve and Alice came over. Not a regular shower. A full production, with the cologne he used to save for anniversaries.

I was imagining it.

“Big plans?” I teased, watching my husband fuss with his collar.

“Just want to look decent.”

“You looked decent yesterday in gym shorts you haven’t washed in a week.”

“Very funny.”

***

At lunch, Carl volunteered to drive Alice home because “Steve had that thing to get to.”