I came home expecting to comfort my exhausted six-year-old, but she announced she was retiring from school—and canceled it the moment she learned the cost.
Her daddy finally said, « Vivian… children don’t retire. »
She folded her arms.
« Then explain why every morning I wake up tired… and every afternoon I come back tired. If that’s not work, what is it? »
Her daddy laughed.
« Because you’re a student. »
Vivian nodded.
« Exactly. So being a student is my job. »
I said, « But your job is to learn. »
She replied, « I’ve been learning since morning. I deserve leave. »
Her daddy smiled.
« Who approved your leave? »
She answered immediately.
« I approved it myself. »
I asked, « So tomorrow morning when it’s time for school, what will you do? »
She replied confidently.
« I’ll wake up… bath… wear my uniform… »
Then she paused.
« I’ll remove it again. »
I couldn’t stop laughing.
« And then? »
She smiled.
« I’ll sit in the sitting room. When my classmates are in school, I’ll be watching cartoons. »
Her daddy said, « Your class teacher will call us. »
Vivian shrugged.
« Tell her I’m now an ex-student. »
I asked, « What if she says you must come back? »
She replied, « I’ll tell her… I’m available for consultancy. »
Her daddy frowned.
« Consultancy? »
She nodded proudly.
« Yes. If anybody doesn’t understand Mathematics, they can call me. I’ll explain from my house, charges applied. »
At that point, her daddy was laughing so hard he couldn’t even talk.
I said, « Vivian… do you know what? »
She smiled.
« What? »
I pointed at her school bag.
« Since you’ve retired, give me your school bag. »
She handed it over happily.
« And your lunch box. »
She gave it to me.
« And your new shoes. »
She removed them immediately.
Her daddy added, « And your holiday money too. »
Immediately, Vivian grabbed everything back.
« Wait first! »
We both looked at her.
She frowned.
« So retirement means I’ll lose all these things? »
Her daddy nodded.
« Of course. Retired students don’t need school bags. »
Vivian quickly carried her bag, wore her shoes again, and collected her lunch box.
Then she shouted, « CANCEL THE RETIREMENT! »
I laughed.
« So you’re going back to school tomorrow? »
She adjusted her uniform hanging on the chair and said, « Yes. I’ve reconsidered. My retirement was too expensive. »
Honestly, I thought Vivian came home tired from school.
I didn’t know she had already written her retirement letter… only to cancel it immediately after discovering retired students don’t receive pocket money, school bags, or holiday gifts.
